Shower of Thorns
by Blue-Eyed-Butterfly
Summary: Ritsuka's lost his ears, his mother's dead, & he's living with Soubi. But, Ritsuka has a dark secret that he's kept even from Soubi. When Soubi finds out, will that be the end of Loveless, or will it only strengthen their bond? SXR Self-Injury
1. Chapter 1

_-Chapter 1-_

_1 Year ago:_

_Ritsuka shut the window quickly behind Soubi against the pounding rain as he climbed in._

"_Do you know what time it is? What if mother wakes up? She'll be really mad." Soubi just smiled his annoying smile that made Ritsuka melt._

"_Here, you're gonna catch a cold." He tossed Soubi a towel which he quickly wrapped around his shoulders. Ritsuka got a tingle up his spine as he looked at Soubi, drenched in rain, shirt clinging to the well-defined chest. The younger boy wrapped his arms around the older man, hugging him tightly. It had been three days since he heard from Soubi and the boy had been worried out of his mind._

"_Where have you been?" He said into the blonde's torso. Soubi smiled and placed his hands around the other boy affectionately._

"_I had some things to take care of. But I'm back now, don't cry." Ritsuka buried his face deeper into his torso and replied in a muffled voice, "I'm not crying…"_

_Ritsuka, blushing, stepped back and sat down at the computer trying hard not to look at the beautiful man seating himself on Ritsuka's bed._

_Soubi watched Ritsuka quickly type in some words into the computer before logging off. He turned the swivel chair so that it faced the bed. Soubi had an intense look on his face, as if he were in deep thought._

"_What's that look for? Are you thinking something perverted?" Ritsuka accused. Soubi just chuckled lightly._

"_What if I was?" He gazed deeply at Ritsuka, making him blush and lean away from Soubi. _

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Soubi didn't reply, only got up and walked over to the smaller boy. He grabbed Ritsuka's wrist and pulled him up into a sweeping embrace. Ritsuka struggled half heartedly as the man nuzzled his neck. After a moment or two Ritsuka stopped struggling and just wrapped his arms around Soubi's neck, reveling in the warmth that lied in this gorgeous man's arms. Soubi slowly pulled his face away and kissed Ritsuka on the lips gently._

"_I love you Ritsuka, more than you'll ever know." He said softly. How wrong he was._

_Today -_

_Ritsuka walks out of the school and sees Soubi standing by the gate._

"_What are you doing here? I told you to wait for me at the corner otherwise people are gonna know what's up…" Ritsuka tentatively touched the top of his head where he had his fake ears pinned, making sure they were still snuggly in place._

"_You know I've never been very patient. And besides, Yuiko already knows what's going on doesn't she?" Soubi asked pointedly, reminding him of when Yuiko barged into Ritsuka's bathroom while Ritsuka didn't have his fake ears on._

_Ritsuka glared at him as the older man laughed lightly. No matter how many times he thinks about it, when the girl realized, she nearly shit bricks. Soubi laughs._

"_That's not the point. The point is that it's weird seeing a 13 year old walking around without his ears with an adult who also doesn't have his ears!" Ritsuka bristled. Soubi wrapped an arm around the smaller boys shoulders as Yuiko came running up._

"_Hi Aoyagi-kun, Agatsuma-san." She bowed to the older man and waved at Ritsuka._

"_How many times do I have to tell you Yuiko-chan, call me Soubi." He smiled._

"_And when did you start calling me 'kun' again? You haven't used that title in ages." Ritsuka asked. Yuiko deflated. Ritsuka was always very to the point and didn't like procrastinating when he had something on his mind._

_I guess you could say he had foot in mouth syndrome. He didn't always think about things that came into his head before he said them. Which wasn't much of a problem because the boy was borderline genius and hardly anything came out wrong. So a better way to describe him would be, he had foot in mouth syndrome with a side of tact._

"_It's fine." Ritsuka mended. Yuiko perked back up._

"_So what are we doing today Ritsuka-kun? Do you want to go to my house and play games again?" Yuiko asked cheerfully._

"_I just want to sleep today Yuiko. I'm just gonna go home." He stated flatly._

"_Oh, well what about you Soubi-san?" She asked hopefully. Soubi shook his head._

"_Sorry Yuiko-chan. I have classes tonight. Maybe Sunday, as far as I know, you two still have that day off correct? Nothing's changed in the past week I presume?" Soubi offered. As usual Ritsuka ignored the comment and headed on ahead of the two towards his house._

_Scratch that, Soubi's house. He didn't have a home anymore._

"_Sure." He yelled over his shoulder._

"_See you tomorrow Yuiko-chan!" Soubi said gracefully before quickly catching up with Ritsuka, leaving Yuiko to walk home in the opposite direction._

_Right now, Ritsuka just really wanted to get home and crawl into his bed. When he moved into Soubi's house he insisted he have his own bed. That it was creepy to sleep in the same bed, even though they had done it already. However, they usually ended up sleeping in the same bed anyways. Usually Ritsuka's since it was bigger. _

_Sorry, maybe I should clarify. About six months ago, Ritsuka's mother had killed herself. Leaving nothing to Ritsuka. She left everything to Seimei, who by law, was dead. Unfortunately, Ritsuka knew otherwise, and had proof, but didn't want to find out what would happen if he released that information. So he kept it to himself, letting the state take everything, as was required by law and when asked if he had any family to take care of him, he named Soubi as his last living legal guardian._

_It took three months for them to finish the paperwork, but finally, Soubi became Ritsuka's legal guardian. Which was fine by Ritsuka. He didn't mind the man too terribly much._

_After Ritsuka moved in, Natsuo and Yoji moved into their own apartment next door after Soubi insisted that they could no longer free-load off him. So they both got jobs working in a Lolita café near the Harajuku bridges, not so much because they like dealing with people, but more because they both love dressing in cute clothes. The two boys made Ritsuka nervous because when they first met, he couldn't figure out if they were extremely effeminate boys, or just very boyish girls._

_Ritsuka got to the apartment and found the two boys leaning against the rails by the front door. He paused and looked at the boys who both jumped up like excited kittens and pounced on him. Damn it, weren't they supposed to be at work today? _

"_Ritsuka-chan! We're glad you're home! We got bored and want someone to play with. Will you play some video games with us?" Natsuo, the red headed one, asked._

"_Don't you two normally do that anyway?" Ritsuka asked, matter-of-factly. Yoji, the green-haired one, spoke up this time._

"_Yeah, but we always play against each other. We know all each other's moves and it's no fun anymore. We can't read you! You're fun to play with. Please?" He asked giving puppy dog eyes._

"_Just buy a new game." Ritsuka pulled his keys out as Soubi reached the top of his stairs. _

"_After rent, and food, and clothes, we don't have any money left between us." They both whined in unison. The two were more like twins than anything else._

"_You two have more clothes than any girl I've ever met." Soubi defended Ritsuka by getting between him and the two boys as Ritsuka unlocked the door._

"_Not more than Nagisa-sensei." Natsuo argued._

"_And we have our own outfits. So individually, we don't have that many clothes." Yoji countered._

"_Yes, but you share a closet don't you? And two dressers?" Soubi offered._

"_Keyword, 'share'. Nagisa-sensei has two closets to herself, and three dressers." That was the last thing Ritsuka heard before shutting the door behind him. Those three could argue all afternoon and Ritsuka did not want to deal with that today._

_He dropped his book bag by the computer desk and hung his coat up. Flopping down onto Soubi's single twin bed with a huff, he pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes, falling swiftly into a dream…_


	2. Chapter 2

-Chapter 2-

Ritsuka was walking through Seven Moons academy. Just wandering with no set destination. He passed many rooms with odd shaped doors. Some were triangles, some circle, some polygons, but he didn't pay attention to any of them. He just kept walking. He finally reached the end of the hall and saw a door on both sides of him. They were both normal looking doors, but the one to his right was black, and the one to his left was white. He went to the left first and opened the door. Behind the door was his older brother Seimei, standing in the middle of a very dark room.

It was odd in the sense that it was devoid of all light, but Ritsuka could make his brother's body and features perfectly. He was wearing a black turtleneck and was holding something in his hand.

"Seimei…wha-" But he stopped talking when he realized that his older brother was holding a dead cat in his hand. From the size of her belly Ritsuka could tell she was getting ready to have kittens.

Seimei turned and smiled at Ritsuka, holding the cat up to just below his face.

"Hey Ritsuka, did you know that if a mother cat is about to lose a kitten she'll kill it and eat it. She'd rather kill it then let anything else have it. Do you think it's the same with people? Would people rather kill the one they love then give it up?" He asked in a very cryptic voice. A voice that wasn't Seimei.

Ritsuka took a step back as Seimei dropped the cat's dead body into the darkness.

"Maybe it is the same. Do you love me Ritsuka? Would you kill me rather then let someone else take me?"

"I love you Seimei. I love you. But I don't want to hurt you, let alone kill you! I won't kill you!" Ritsuka yelled in unknown panic, not sure what to say.

Seimei dropped to his knees and started to laugh. Ritsuka turned around and ran to the black door that was at his right. He swung the door open and nearly ran into Soubi.

He was wearing his white coat and had a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He dropped it to the floor and looked at Ritsuka with concern.

"Ritsuka, what's wrong?" He said calmly. Tears started to form in Ritsuka's eyes. Something about Soubi was wrong. He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Seimei…is…he's…" Ritsuka couldn't quite get the words out and started to cry. He didn't know why. He never cried. At least, not in front of Soubi.

"There, there. No need to cry." Soubi wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Soubi's flesh was cold. Ice cold. Death cold. Ritsuka ripped himself free of the embrace, looking closely at Soubi's eyes. They were blank. Empty, and devoid of all emotion…and life…

Ritsuka gaped at the man who suddenly crumpled to the floor into a pile of ashes.

"You see what I mean Ritsuka? I'd rather kill Soubi then let you have him." Came a cold voice from beside Ritsuka. He jumped back and saw Seimei covered in blood.

"Soubi is mine. He does what I tell him. Even if the order is to take his own life. You don't love me Ritsuka. You loved him, and him you. But he's mine. You can't have him. Now, or ever." As the speech wore on Seimei's voice became more and more unrecognizable in the mania that Ritsuka saw forming in Seimei's eyes. Finally, Seimei's voice had escalated to a psychotic maniacal cackle that sent Ritsuka tearing down the hall away from him.

He ran past the circle doors, and the triangle doors, and the polygon doors, but the voice of the man who is not his brother didn't seem to get any farther away. Ritsuka saw someone wearing a blue outfit up ahead.

As he got closer to it, he realized it was his mother. He was afraid of what his mother would say about him running from Seimei, but he just couldn't stop running. Eventually he ran into his mother's open arms.

She placed a gentle hand on his head and rubbed his back as he cried. The evil cackle began to get closer and she took Ritsuka's hand and ran through a glass revolving door into a giant forest. She slowed to a walk and led Ritsuka to a clearing. There was someone standing in the clearing. No, there were a lot of people standing in the clearing.

There was Yuiko, Natsuo, Yoji, Ritsu-sensei, Yayoi, Yamato, Koya, Midori, Ai, Osamu, even Nagisa-sensei. Misaki, Ritsuka's mother, held his shoulders.

"This is where your trust should lie. In all your friend's that you've made. But don't forget to trust your heart. Even if your mind tells you it's wrong, your heart will never lie." She simply said before vanishing in a thick fog.

As she disappeared Ritsuka heard someone come up behind him. He turned around but couldn't see his face. Ritsuka suddenly woke with a start.

He looked at the clock sitting on Soubi's nightstand and saw that it was after midnight. It wasn't until he tried to move that he found out that Soubi had crawled into the small bed with his arms wrapped around Ritsuka's waist, and his face buried into the smaller boy's chest. Ritsuka sighed and laid his arm over Soubi's shoulder.

Ritsuka wasn't much for cuddling, but when Soubi curled up against him like that, he just couldn't resist. No matter how much he hated himself for it.

Sometimes Ritsuka would lay awake with Soubi sleeping in his chest like this and wonder how all of this happened. How Soubi came into his life, how he fell for him. What made it all happen? Or did it just…happen?

Soubi stirred against his chest making a small murmur before a small smile graced his beautiful face. As Soubi shifted, his hair fell halfway across his face, uncovering the small butterfly earrings that were pierced into the cartilage of his ear.

When Ritsuka had originally pierced his lover's ears, it was in the ear lobes, but the female Zero team, Yamato and Koya, had ripped them out in a two against one battle with Soubi as proof to their mentor, Nagisa-sensei, that they had defeated the Loveless/Beloved fighter unit.

Ritsuka smiled at the sleeping man affectionately. Something he rarely did when Soubi was awake. Soubi was the only one who could pull Ritsuka out of his deep depressions, and when he did, he finally smiled. Or when he would play with Yuiko. The older man became almost a kid again as he did cartwheels, or played on the swings with her at the park. For such a gorgeous person, cute really wasn't the right word, but it was the only one that fit properly.

Ritsuka hadn't realized he was crying. It was only when a tear drop landed on Soubi's cheek, and he fluttered his eyelids open in confusion did he realize it and he quickly tried to pull himself together. When it came to Ritsuka's emotions, it wasn't so much that he didn't trust Soubi enough to show them around him, it was more that Ritsuka didn't trust himself. He had always had a volatile temper, but unlike his mother, he had total control over it. He wasn't the violent type. But that didn't keep him from thinking about it.

Soubi reached up a gentle hand and placed it on Ritsuka's cheek.

"What's wrong?" Such a simple question asked in such a caring voice. It was almost too much for Ritsuka. But he simply turned his face away from the comforting hand and hn'd.

"It's nothing. Just a bad dream. Go sleep in your own bed." He stated simply, before rolling over, turning his back to Soubi. Soubi gave a small chuckle before wrapping his arms around Ritsuka's waist and nuzzling against his spine.

Ritsuka knew this wasn't a battle he was going to be able to win easily so he didn't even bother. He simply placed a tentative hand over Soubi's and closed his eyes. Slowly, he started to drift back into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

The next morning Ritsuka woke up to find that he was alone in the bed. He panicked for an instant before settling down a little. That always happened the morning after they slept in the same bed. Ritsuka sat up and scratched behind his ears ruffling his sleep mussed hair.

He got out of bed and headed to the bathroom but noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen counter.

Dear Rit-chan,

Had to go the Academy, won't be home till late tomorrow. Don't stay up too late, eat a good breakfast, don't be late for school, have a good day. ^_^

P.S. Meat in the freezer, produce in the fridge, milk went bad I'll pick some up on the way home.

Love,

Sou-chan

Ritsuka crumpled up the note and tossed it back on the counter and scratched his neck. To anyone else, it would've seemed harmless. But to Ritsuka it was deadly. The little things that Soubi does to make Ritsuka feel loved. It meant so much to him, but at the same time, they scared him. Ritsuka went to the bathroom and locked the door. He climbed into the shower, brushed his teeth, put on his pants and socks.

He stood in the bathroom looking at the full length mirror that sat on the back of the door. Looked at himself. How he hated what he saw. The weakness, the fear, the emotions that ran through him so fast, often times he couldn't identify them. Everything about his psychological make-up.

Ritsuka had been doing fine for a few months. Nothing making him sad. But the note…that note was dangerous. It unlocked feelings in Ritsuka's heart that terrified him. He didn't want to ever feel those emotions again. He knew full and well that they would only lead to heartache.

So he turned from the mirror and opened the bathroom door. He reached under his mattress and pulled out a small blue back-pack with a butterfly pattern designed in glitter on the outside pockets. It had been a gift from Yuiko and Soubi both.

The contents of the bag clattered together, whispering a dark secret in a language that only Ritsuka understood. It was whispering, "relief". He closed and locked the bathroom door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

-Chapter 3-

Ritsuka sank to the floor, leaning with his back against the mirror. He didn't want to see the expression on his face. He knew very well what was there. He knew what would happen if he looked in the mirror and saw himself for what he was.

He would look, and first he would see would be his eyes. There will be a dangerous glitter in them that told dark stories with the power to haunt with their mysteries. The part of him that drew people in. Made people want to get closer to him.

Next he would see his torso. Scarred from years of abuse. The only part of him that would make sense. He deserved this. Scars that would draw sympathy for Ritsuka, and anger for his mother from Soubi.

Finally, he would see his arms. Scars barely visible. Created by something unknown to Soubi. Unknown, to anyone but Ritsuka. A part of him, that only Ritsuka could see, could feel. The only part of him he knew no one would sympathize with. No one would want to get closer to. But was, yet, still his secret.

Back to the mirror, Ritsuka looked to the scars on his wrists and arms and hands. He gently touched them with his fingertips, loving the bumps they created on his arms. Some with swelled scar tissue slightly, almost invisibly, bulging from his forearm. Others, indenting into his arm. Others, simple lines of marred flesh on his skin.

He didn't even need to look to reach into his bag and find his tools. Didn't need to look to find the push lever for the blade. Didn't even need to look to know where to put the blade. He leaned his head back and pushed the blade against his skin, gauging how deep the cut would be. He closed his eyes and he drew the blade across his flesh, savoring the sharp pain that blossomed all the way up his arm.

He lifted the blade from his arm and set it back down again a little farther up his arm. He repeated this several times, sometimes overlapping the red lines forming on his arms.

Ritsuka didn't know how long he sat on that floor letting himself bleed out before he finally came to his senses.

He sighed and stood up, washed off his arm and scrubbed the floor. He packed up his bag and took one more look at himself in the mirror, hating the relief he saw in his face before stepping out of the bathroom with his bag.

He stepped out of the bathroom and was already back to his bed before he noticed Soubi standing in the doorway. He stood there for a minute, staring blankly at Soubi before tossing the bag on the bed and heading to his dresser. Not letting the panic show.

"I thought you went to the academy." He hoped his voice didn't carry the same shaking that was wracking his body from the inside out. He yanked open one of his dresser drawers and pulled out one of his favorite shirts.

"I did. I forgot my cell phone and had to come back." Soubi said calmly. Ritsuka pulled the shirt over his head and looked to the counter while straightening it out over his chest, pulling the left sleeve down tight over his arm. He walked over to the counter and picked up Soubi's phone. Carrying it in his left hand he walked over to Soubi and held it out to him.

"Here." He said, trying to sound like his normal morning self, which happened to be grumpy and distant, which Ritsuka didn't have to fake. He was grumpy, and he did want distance. Just not for the same reasons, and he hoped Soubi wouldn't pick up on it like he normally does.

Soubi reached out a gentle hand to grab the phone. Ritsuka wasn't expecting Soubi to lash out so quick as he grabbed a hold of Ritsuka's hand, causing him to drop the phone.

"Soubi? What…? No! Stop it Soubi! Let me go!" Ritsuka tried to yank his hand free as Soubi reached for the hem of his sleeve, but to no avail. Once Soubi got a hold of his sleeve and, despite Ritsuka's efforts, pushed it up past his elbow, they both froze.

Ritsuka carefully watched Soubi's face go from calm to confused to understanding to, unfortunately, sympathy.

"Ritsuka…What is this?" Soubi asked with a level voice. While Soubi was staring at the fresh cuts on Ritsuka's arm, the smaller boy yanked his arm free and pulled the sleeve hastily down, trying to cover up the cause of the sympathy.

"What does it look like?" He said unnaturally cold. Soubi looked into his face, trying to look at him but Ritsuka would not meet his eyes. Ritsuka stalked over to his messenger bag and picked it up, slinging it over his shoulder hastily.

"I have to get to school. I'm gonna be late enough as it is." He walked past Soubi, who thankfully didn't try to stop him, and walked to school, mind whirring with a thousand thoughts.

He rushed into class late and hurried to his seat. He plopped down as the teacher gave a huff.

"Aoyagi-chan! Could you please learn how to be on time for once? I swear, you either come to class late, or the times that you are on time you sleep most of class." Ritsuka mumbled an apology in response before taking out his notebook to take notes.

The day drug on like there was no end. His mind kept slipping back to this morning and every time he tried to ignore the subtle burning of his arms. He was already making a plan to spend as little time at the apartment as possible, only going back when he absolutely had to. He knew he would absolutely not like what Soubi had to say later.

The bell rang for the dismissal of classes for the day and Ritsuka took his sweet time packing up.

"Hey Ritsuka-kun! Are you going to the library after school today?" Yuiko asked, always the energetic one, making Ritsuka grimace a little on the inside, but then he perked up at the sudden prospect.

"Yes. Are you?" He responded in clipped sentences, trying to be discreet.

"Yes! There's a book that Yuiko needs to return. That book from America that you suggested, Ritsuka-kun, 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. Yuiko liked it very much! Hey! Let's walk to the library together, okay Ritsuka-kun?" She bounced about excitedly holding the book up.

"Sure." He pulled his bag onto his shoulder and turned for the door. They got to the entrance when Yuiko squealed excitedly.

"Agatsuma-san! Are you here to pick Ritsuka-kun up?" Ritsuka froze, a hard look in his eye as he scanned Soubi, whose body was tense and nervous. As if he couldn't wait to get out of Yuiko's joy-beam fast enough.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did, Yuiko. Where are you headed?" He smiled and answered politely.

"Sorry, Soubi, but I already made plans with Yuiko to go to the arcade. I have a couple errands to run afterwards so I won't be home until late." Ritsuka started past them as Yuiko opened her mouth to correct him on their destination, but after a hard look from Ritsuka thought better of it.

"Uh, right." She blushed and hung her head apologetically. Ritsuka had to grit his teeth. She was such a bad liar it was almost painful.

"See you at home Sou-chan. Come on Yuiko, we don't want to get there too late that all the good games are already taken." He started off again, feeling Soubi's gaze boring holes into his back.

In retrospect, lying about where they were going was rather pointless. Soubi would follow them anyways. And Soubi was never one to just let sleeping dogs lie.


	4. Chapter 4

Ritsuka led Yuiko to the arcade, feeling followed. No, he knew he was being followed. Every now and then he'd catch a whiff of Soubi's cigarettes. As long as that's all he was doing, Ritsuka could ignore him. For now. They made it to the arcade and Yuiko wanted to play DDR. Ritsuka didn't like the game, too much physical exertion, but agreed to compete with her on one game. They played three songs and, despite Yuiko's lack of grace every other time, she's shocking coordinated at the game. They played some Pac-man, and a couple races of Hydro Thunder before Yuiko pointed out that the library would be closing in a couple hours.

They headed out to the library, with Ritsuka feeling a little better. Despite how much the girl annoyed him, her cheerfulness was contagious, and he honestly enjoyed her presence most of the time. Yuiko babbled about wanting to join the track team, or the literary club, normal things and Ritsuka started to get irritated. The tone of her voice suggested that she wanted to talk about something other than school clubs.

"Yuiko, if you want to ask me something then ask me. You know how I don't like it when you try to beat around the bush." Ritsuka tried to put as much patience into his voice as he could muster, but Yuiko deflated a little anyways.

"Um, why did you lie to Agatsuma-san? Did you two have a fight?" She asked meekly, not wanting to intrude where she wasn't wanted. Ritsuka bristled. Trying to figure out what you'd normally call what happened this morning.

"Sort of. But it's nothing you need to worry about Yuiko." Ritsuka tried to sound patient.

"But Yuiko does worry! If you and Agatsuma-san are fighting! Yuiko wants you to tell Yuiko! You two shouldn't fight!" Yuiko had started to raise her voice in agitation, not at Ritsuka, but at the situation, and suddenly realized she was yelling. She blushed and lowered her head, along with her voice.

"People who love each other shouldn't fight. If there's something wrong, I want you to tell me…Please Ritsuka-kun. I'm your friend. Friends depend on each other." Yuiko started to get choked up, and for once, Ritsuka didn't know what to say.

"Hey, Yuiko. You didn't call yourself by your own name." Ritsuka instead pointed out. Yuiko looked confused for a moment before smiling sheepishly.

"Look, Yuiko. I appreciate you wanting to help but, no offense, I don't think it's really any of your business." He hoped that wasn't too mean. Yuiko just nodded meekly.

"Now come on. We have to get to library before it closes so you can get that book." And off they went, Yuiko going back to her babbling, more relaxed having spoken to Ritsuka about her concerns, and Ritsuka still on edge because he knew they were still being followed.

They got to the library right before they closed. Yuiko returned the book and checked out a new one, Yoru no Nezame and Ritsuka checked out a movie for him and Yuiko to watch, Moon Child.

On the way back to Yuiko's they stopped by the convenience store to buy some snacks. Some barbecue chips, pocky, ramune, and a Poccari Sweat. While Ritsuka paid for the snacks Yuiko was staring out the window at something.

"Hey, Yuiko, is there anything else you want to get?" He asked her and she didn't even flinch.

"Yuiko, what are you staring at?" No response. He shook his head no to the cashier and paid, taking the bags and going to stand by Yuiko, trying to follow her gaze. He looked to where she was staring and clenched his teeth. Natsuo and Yoji were standing by a light post across the street, and when they saw Ritsuka, they waved.

"C'mon." Ritsuka grabbed Yuiko by the arm and pulled her back out of the store.

"Ritsuka-kun, aren't those your friends from your apartment building?" Ritsuka narrowed his eyes, since he didn't have his ears to flatten anymore.

"I wouldn't call them friends, but yes, they live in my apartment building." He stormed over to the two and glared, waiting for the inevitable snaky remark.

"Didn't anyone ever warn you that if you keep that face when the wind changes it'll get stuck that way?" Said Yoji.

"What do you want? If you're here to deliver a message don't bother. He can call me himself." Ritsuka said irritated.

"But if he tried to call you'd just ignore him, and he'd rather talk to you in private."

"Oh for the love of…Hang on." Ritsuka turned away and pulled out his cellular to send Soubi an e-mail.

'If you want to tell me something then tell me yourself. Don't send your carrier pigeons. I'll be home later and then we can talk. I just don't want to talk right now.' He sent it and turned back to the trio eyeing him curiously. He grabbed Yuiko's hand again and started to walk away.

"You're job is done. Have a nice night." Ritsuka didn't wait for them to respond, he didn't slow down.

"Ritsuka-kun, what was that all about?" Yuiko asked, sincerely concerned.

"Soubi is too much of a chicken to talk to me in front of you so he sent those two to deliver a message."

"W-what was the message?" Concern still evident in her voice.

"Sending them WAS the message. He wanted me to know that he was keeping an eye on me. He's been following us all day. I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't want you to be paranoid, and I didn't want you to invite him to walk with us because I don't want to be around him. I can't stand him sometimes." As Ritsuka spoke he became more and more agitated. He didn't notice that he had stopped walking. Or that he was shaking. But he was way too aware of how close he was to crying. Before he could break he gripped Yuiko's hand tightly.

"Come on, let's get to your house before your mom starts to worry. Besides, it's starting to get dark." Ritsuka forced a smile. But when he looked at Yuiko his smile faltered. She was crying.

"Hey, Yuiko. What's wrong? Why are you crying? There's no reason to cry." Ritsuka tried to reassure her. She just wiped her eyes, and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Ritsuka-kun. Yuiko knows she shouldn't cry. I just can't help it, I don't like it when you two fight." She sniffled and wiped her face on her sleeve.

"Me and him fight all the time and you've never cried before so why -" But he was cut off before he could finish his sentence.

"BUT NEVER LIKE THIS! Yeah, you've argued, and he gets on your nerves, but I've never seen Ritsuka-kun like this. You look so, so…sad. Yuiko thinks you should go home and talk about it. You don't have to talk to Yuiko, but you need to talk to Agatsuma-san. Please. Yuiko doesn't like it when you look like that. Yuiko likes it when Ritsuka-kun smiles. Ritsuka-kun looks so handsome when you smile. Yuiko just doesn't want Ritsuka-kun to be sad anymore. I know I'm not too bright, but I'm not stupid. I've seen the way Ritsuka-kun struggles to look happy today. I don't want you to have to struggle. Yuiko wants - I mean, I want happiness to come to you naturally. It's okay to cry, as long as you can smile afterwards. That's what my mom always tells me." Yuiko sniffled again and wiped her nose on her sleeve nervously. Ritsuka felt his lip quiver.

Before he knew it, his arms were wrapped around Yuiko's waist. He didn't cry, but when Yuiko wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he couldn't help but feel a little comforted. A single tear slipped from each eye and he pulled away before he could slip any further.

"Thanks Yuiko. That really means a lot to me. But I just need to be away from him for a while. But I promise, I will go talk to him later. But for now, I just need time. Okay?" Ritsuka forced his voice to be strong and hoped it was working. When Yuiko nodded and smiled, he knew it had.

"Now let's get going before your mom starts blowing up your phone." Yuiko laughed and happily led the way towards her house.

Sure enough, when they got there her mom was worried. They sat and watched the movie laughing and eating snacks. At some point, after Ritsuka had fallen asleep, he heard voices talking in the front room. A few minutes later, someone picked him up and cradled him to his chest.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you both home? It's really no trouble." Came the voice of Yuiko's mother, Hikari.

"It's perfectly all right. It's a lovely night after all." Ritsuka's breath hitched at the sound of Soubi's voice, but he remained otherwise asleep.

"All right. But please be safe, and take care of yourself. Poor dear. He's seemed like he's been walking on egg shells all night." The concern evident in Hikari's voice.

"Yes, thank you very much. You have a good night." And with that, they left. Soubi walked in silence for about twenty minutes before finally speaking.

"Ritsuka, I know your awake. You can stop pretending." Ritsuka tensed, but kept his eyes closed.

"If you knew I was awake then why are you still carrying me?" He snapped, already on edge.

"Why not?" Came his cryptic reply. They walked in silence for a while longer. Neither of them saying anything. And Ritsuka was content staying in Soubi's arms in the silence. They stayed like that all the way into the apartment. Soubi stood in the door way, just cradling Ritsuka to his chest. Finally, he put Ritsuka down, and Ritsuka was a little disappointed.

"Ritsuka…" Soubi said quietly.

"No, Soubi. Just don't. Don't start. I can't stand it."

"I don't understand."

"You don't need to! All you need to understand is that it makes me feel better! What's so hard to understand about that!" Ritsuka was shaking with repressed emotion, and fighting hard to keep his voice under control.

"Ritsuka, please." Soubi's voice, tight with emotion, was shaking.

"No, Soubi! I can't stand it! I can't…" Ritsuka's voice broke and he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Quickly, he covered his mouth, frozen. Soubi took a tentative step towards him, but Ritsuka stumbled backwards, falling backwards.

"Ritsuka, please. I need to understand. You're my sacrifice." Soubi tried to reason with him.

"That's all I am, isn't it? I'm just your sacrifice. You're only with me because Seme told you to love me." Ritsuka found his feet and darted around Soubi, knocking him over in the process. Tearing open the door he darted away.

"Ritsuka! Wait!" Soubi called after him. But still Ritsuka ran. But from what, he wasn't exactly sure…He only knew that he needed to get away.

Soubi struggled to his feet, but by the time he got to the stairs there was naught to be seen of Ritsuka. He knew he would never catch him, but he had to go look for him. Soubi grabbed a flashlight and dashed out of the apartment after his sacrifice. He had to find Ritsuka before something bad happened to him. And there was a terrible feeling in the pit of Soubi's stomach that something would.

He knew he couldn't have Ritsuka back in his arms soon enough.

END CHAPTER: Hope you liked it. Rate and Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: Okay, so I know it's been a long time and all and I'm sorry. I've been in the process of moving.

Author's Boyfriend's Notes: We moved in two months ago. You're just lazy.

Author: NO I'M NOT! I just have poor motivation.

Boyfriend: Also known as being…oh right, lazy.

Author: *duct tapes boyfriend to the ironing board* Anyway, on with the show!

Boyfriend: MRRFFLEHURMFL!

~CHAPTER FIVE~

When Ritsuka hit the bottom steps he hid under the staircase, knowing the Soubi would go after him. If he ran, Soubi could follow him, if he hid where Soubi wouldn't suspect, he could have his time alone. Curled up in the fetal position he only had to wait a few seconds before he heard Soubi racing down the stairs. He watched as Soubi took off with a flashlight down the block. He waited until he couldn't hear Soubi's frantic footsteps, or echoing voice anymore before going the opposite direction.

He didn't run. He knew Soubi wasn't following him. But he also didn't know where he was going. He figure he needed to find a park or something for him to sleep in. But still he wandered past the park in a daze. He didn't like the way the city felt at night. He didn't like the way the full moon cast shadows everywhere. Anyone could be hiding in those shadows. But really, what could they do to him that would be worse than what's already happened to him? So he kept wandering.

Eventually he stopped in a convenience store and bought something to drink. He looked at his phone that had been buzzing incessantly for he didn't know how long. 68 missed calls from Soubi. How long had he been walking? He looked at the clock and it read 3:24 am. He'd been walking for almost four hours. He sipped his coffee as he sat on the bench in front of the store. The manager came out to check on him a couple of times before finally asking if he needed a ride somewhere.

"No thanks. Just wandering around." He replied, not bothering to lie. The manager gave him an odd look before turning back around and heading back into the store. He finished off his coffee before tossing it into the trash and heading off again. He walked down the dark streets, his mind a total blank. Not really paying attention to his surroundings, and as a result bumped right into someone.

"Ow, sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you." He looked up and saw a cluster of four gruff looking guys. If the almost empty bottles of liquor were any indication, they were also pretty hammered.

"Hey kid, watch were you're going. Say, you're a cute one." Obviously the ringleader, his breath alone gave Ritsuka a buzz it smelled so strongly of alcohol. Ritsuka stood up and brushed himself off. For his age, he was pretty tall. Almost as tall as the average adult male. Making him equally as tall as the man addressing him.

"I'm sorry." He said again before walking around them. He didn't like the feeling he got around those guys. One of them grabbed him by the arm and yanked him around.

"Hey, I'm done talking to you. How about you come and have a few drinks with us. Look, I'm sorry about the kid comment, I didn't realize. But you sure are cute. And me and my buddies are looking for some cute company. What do you say?" He slurred and spit a lot when he spoke. Yup, definitely hammered off his ass. He's so drunk he probably thinks he's a girl.

"No thanks, I have somewhere to be." And with that Ritsuka turned back around, but the guy grabbed him by the hair and yanked him against his chest. Ritsuka cried out in pain.

"Let me go!" He hollered. But someone slapped him across the face and he bit his cheek.

"I was just trying to be nice, but if you're gonna be so rude and decline our hospitality I guess there's no need for me to be nice, is there?" Ritsuka's heart dropped into his stomach like a stone. Never mind, there is something worse that could happen to him. Unfortunately, he was being dragged into an ally that the idea of what could happen was about to.

He was pinned down and couldn't move. The ringleader undid his pants and pulled them down to his ankles. He heard one of the guys gasp.

"Shit it's a dude! I'm not sure I want to anymore." Ritsuka prayed that they'd all share the same idea. But apparently no one was listening because the leader just grinned.

"Oh well, I'm pretty horny right now, and it ain't gonna go away on it's own." He leaned in close to Ritsuka who was shaking with fear. You know all those things you hear about in the news. Murders, rapes, theft. If you don't say you never thought it would happen to you, you're a liar. Ritsuka thought he had lived through the worst things that could happen, but it hit him like a truck that those would be cakewalks.

As the guy leaned in closer tears formed in Ritsuka's eyes. He didn't want this. He wanted to fight. But he was petrified. He wanted to run, but his limbs wouldn't respond. All he could do was close his eyes and pretend its all a dream.

"Besides, you need to be taught a little lesson on manners. It's rude to reject someone's hospitality." The guy rained saliva as he spoke and Ritsuka thought he was gonna puke.

"Flip him over." Ritsuka Cringed as they roughly rolled him onto his stomach and the guy yanked his hips up. He heard a zipper and sobbed. This was really happnening to him. It was happening and there was nothing Ritsuka could do to stop them. His arms were pinned. They were in the business district so no one would hear him scream even if his vocal chords would respond.

As he felt the guy press his tip against Ritsuka's entrance he braced himself. But sex with Soubi was NOTHING like the excruciating pain that he felt when this guy forced himself into Ritsuka. He let out shout and was met with a painful yank of his hair again.

"Shut your mouth." The guy growled in his ear. Ritsuka bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. The guy finished pretty quickly, but even after he was done and pulled out the pain lingered. Another guy stepped forward to take his turn.

All of a sudden he heard a couple of girls yell. Ritsuka had shut down everything linking his mind to reality so he didn't recognize the voices. But he saw all the men drop like boards unconscious. He didn't understand what had happened, but was glad for it anyway. He was a pair of shoes stop in front of his face before kneeling down in front of him.

He looked up into the face of Yamato. The Sacrifice of the female Zero team. It didn't make any sense though. After Yamato's name faded they fell off the map. But Ritsuka didn't care about that right now. It was a familiar face. Though filled with the concern that he hated so much, it was familiar and he new she wouldn't hurt him.

"Ritsuka, can you hear me?" Ritsuka stared at her blankly for a moment before nodding.

"Is it all right for me to touch you?" Ritsuka nodded again, but as she tried to pull his pants up for him, he screamed. Whether it was in agony or fear, he wasn't sure.

"Kouya, come over here, I need your help!" She called for her fighter, and together they managed to get him propped up enough that they could get his pants back up. Kouya pulled off her sweater and they made a pillow on the ground for him. As soon as they got him safely situated on his side Yamato looked at him.

"Where's your cell phone?" She asked. But Ritsuka didn't respond, he still didn't know how. His voice hadn't returned.

"Listen, I need your cell phone so I can call someone for you." She explained, but it still took Ritsuka a moment to understand what she was saying. He still wasn't all there. Ritsuka shook his head. He didn't want Soubi to see him like this, covered in dirt, tears, blood, and semen. And he certainly didn't want Yuiko to see this. There was no one.

But as soon as he thought it, he heard another person's voice.

"Is everyone okay here?" It was Kio, Soubi's friend from school.

"Ritsuka! Oh my god, what happened?" Kio was flaming gay and had a huge crush on Soubi, and was jealous of Ritsuka for having him, but he was a good person. Kouya and Yamato did the talking about what they walked in on. Kio radiated anger as he gently picked Ritsuka up, surprised at how little it hurt.

"I've got it from here. You two should get out of here before your spell wears off of them." He indicated the men still laying on the ground. Ritsuka didn't notice that they had begun to twitch fingers and eyelids. Kouya and Yamato tensed at the mention of Kouya's spell but listened regardless continuing down the street the opposite way.

"Don't worry, I won't touch you for any longer than it takes to get you to my apartment." He explained, obviously sensing Ritsuka's uneasiness about being touched right now.

"You're…" Ritsuka was a little nervous about being alone with him, but new he wouldn't do anything.

"I know you don't want Soubi to see you. And I know you don't want to see him. Why else would you be out at this god-forsaken hour of the morning." He reasoned with Ritsuka as if speaking from experience. They got to Kio's apartment within ten minutes and he headed straight for the bathroom. Kio started the water and got it lukewarm.

"I'll let you get undressed and get in. I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes. Let me know if you need anything." He turned to leave but Ritsuka grabbed his sleeve.

"Please. Don't leave me alone." Ritsuka hated how pathetic he sounded. But he needed someone around right now. Kio smiled empathetically.

"Sure thing, but you need to take a bath. Trust me, you'll feel better." Kio said gently. He helped Ritsuka get his clothes off and into the bath. Kio sat with him while he bathed. Finally, Ritsuka spoke.

"Kio, how did you know? How did you know how to handle this? Did…Did something happen?" Ritsuka asked tentatively.

"You know that butterfly tattoo on my back? Every tattoo has a story…Do you want to hear mine?" He asked. Ritsuka paused and nodded gently.

"All right. Well, where to start…?"

END CHAPTER! Hope you liked! Next chapter coming in soon!

Boyfriend: THAT WAS FUCKED UP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Author: I needed a plot twist! I'm sorry!

Boyfriend: So have him cheat on that one guy! Don't get the poor kid raped!

Author: Ritsuka is practically incapable of feeling human emotion. He's socially unequipped to deal with the Human Race. Therefore making him incapable of cheating.

Boyfriend: You are twisted…I'm gonna go watch Bleach.

Author: *grin*

Boyfriend: I HATE YOU!

Author: Someone's getting into anime! HAHAHAHA! Remember, the faster you review, the faster I update!


	6. Chapter 6

Author: Just got back from my anime convention! Lalalala! Actually in the mood to write more lately. Anyway, Here you go! Chapter Six! Just a quick thank you to everyone who has favorited my story, set it to alerts, and reviewed. YOU ARE MY MOTIVATION!

~Chapter Six~

"When I was about sixteen years old, my parents died in a car accident. I was devastated, and the only family that would take me was my father's brother. I was actually kind of glad because my uncle always doted on me. Take me to the movies, the arcade, at Christmas, I always got the best presents from him. Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents, and I knew they loved me. But it seemed like they were always in their own little world, and I was just attached to their bubble. They never fought or anything. Quite the contrary really. They were absolutely in love. But when they died, it seemed like all the love in the world was sucked from my life.

Then I found out that I'd be staying with my uncle. I was excited. For the first few months, I was completely happy. However, I started to notice things my uncle did. He'd always go out of his way to touch me in some way, walk into my room unannounced. It started to bother me. Then one day he came home drunk. It was odd, because I'd never seen my uncle even so much as sip a drop of alcohol. Liquor was never kept in the house. But anyways, he called out for my mom. I thought that was odd so I went downstairs. He saw me and thought I was my mom. Everyone always said I looked just like her. He started talking really weird. Asking her to leave my father. That what they had was special and he could never forget their love.

When I tried to explain to him that I wasn't my mom, that she was dead, he got angry, thought I was lying to him. He pushed me over and climbed on top of me. I was raped at the tender age of seventeen, just two weeks after my birthday." Kio told his story with a small smile on his face, but it wasn't sad, it was like he looked at it from a brighter perspective than anyone could ever look at those circumstances. Ritsuka hugged his knees to his chest and stared in rapt fascination.

"What happened to your uncle?" Ritsuka asked gently.

"He kind of came to afterwards and finally recognized me. And when he did, he started to cry. He asked me to forgive him, he didn't know what he was doing, but when I didn't say anything he went quiet, apologized again, and left. I never saw him again after that. A few days later, the police showed up. They had found his body in a nearby ally way. He had been mugged, and shot. In a way, I kind of felt bad for him. He may have hurt me, but as least he didn't kill me." He said quietly.

Ritsuka listened in wonder as Kio revealed his sordid past.

"After his funeral we found out that he had left a will, leaving everything to me. I almost didn't accept it. Thought about donating it. But I decided to use it to continue my schooling. I graduated junior college. There was never a happier moment in my life than when I got my acceptance letter to Tokyo School of Arts. The week before I started classes, I got the butterfly tattoo. To me, butterflies symbolize change, and rebirth. I had lived through trauma's and come out a stronger, more beautiful person. It's a constant reminder to myself, that you're only as weak as you let people make you feel. You never know how strong you are, until you have to fight your way out." At the end, Kio looked vibrant, and confident, so different from how Ritsuka was feeling. They sat in silence for a while. Finally, Kio spoke.

"We should probably get you to a hospital. Trust me, I know how much that idea is terrifying right now, but from the amount of blood, you probably need stitches. I brought you here first to keep you from getting hurt worse. I figured you'd need to hear someone's story to know that you're not alone." Kio smiled gently, knowingly. He knew the idea of a hospital was revolting right now, but Ritsuka knew he understood the urgency of medical attention.

"Are they going to ask me about what happened?" He whispered, almost inaudibly. Kio sighed and clasped his hands in front of him.

"Most likely. But if you don't want to talk to them about it, then they won't make you. They may even call in the police to get their descriptions to keep them from doing something like this again. But from the looks of those two girls, I have a feeling they've already been dealt with in a most unappealing manner." Kio smiled lightly at Ritsuka, and to Ritsuka's surprise, he felt a small smile tug at the corners of his own lips.

Kio helped Ritsuka out of the tub and into some clothes that he was getting ready to donate because they were too small. But they fit Ritsuka well enough. He was just helping Ritsuka put on a pair of sandals when there was a sharp knock at the door.

"I wonder who that could be at this hour." Kio mused aloud. Ritsuka froze, knowing who it was before Kio ever opened the door.

End Chapter!

Keiko: THERE! I UPDATED! CALM DOWN!

Ebony-S-White: Yes, Kio knows about the spells, as well as Ritsuka's mother being dead.

Fugu-chan: THERE! I sent him to the hospital! He just needed to hear Kio's story first! There IS a METHOD to my madness. I promise!

Author's Boyfriend: Method, right…

Author: PBBBBTTTT! That's what I have to say about that.

AB: Real mature honey.

Author: Anyway, thanks again to everyone who rated, reviewed, and what-not. Chapter seven coming once I get fired up. (Sorry, I've been watching gravitation….lol)


	7. Chapter 7

Author: So I had an e-mail of someone asking my real name. Now this is only one person, so if you too want to know my real name, start asking. ^_^ But I will give you my boyfriend's name so I can stop referring to him as Author's Boyfriend. His name is Adam, and he is my world. Well, my world outside of writing. Lol

Adam: Oh, thanks. I see where I rank.

Author: I never said you rank UNDER writing. Just that writing is my world outside of you.

Adam: No, you said I was your world outside of writing. You put writing first.

Author: You're just reading too far into it.

Adam: Fitting since I'm in love with a writer. Reading is what I do.

Author:…..*silence*…Give me a couple days. I'll have a comeback for that. Anyways, chapter seven. ^_^

Chapter Seven

Ritsuka froze at the sound of someone knocking on the door. He didn't need to be psychic to know who was at the door. He could feel it in his gut. And he found himself irritated. Kio opened the door and stared at the two young men on his doorstep. Their eyes lit up with relief when they saw Ritsuka.

"If you tell him I'm here I will hurt you both." Ritsuka growled.

"Aw, you know that threat doesn't work on us. We can't feel pain. Or anything for that matter." Natsuo, the red-head said. Yoji stifled a chuckle before shaking his head.

"We really don't care about where you are, and really don't care what Soubi knows. He just wants to know that you're safe." Yoji stated with finality.

"Don't worry, we won't tell him where you are. Just let him know that we found you, and you're safe. Just remember, that thread that binds you? It works both ways. If he really wants to find you, he will." Natsuo assured him.

Just then, a thought occurred to Ritsuka. Why hadn't Soubi used it earlier? Darkness descended on his mind. Yoji seemed to guess what Ritsuka was thinking.

"He probably hasn't used it yet, because he's panicked and not thinking straight. But if you were hurt, then his alarms are going off and he's on his way here already. So if you don't want him finding you, you should just keep moving."

Ritsuka looked at the two for a long hard moment before nodding to Kio.

"Let's go." He said, before letting Kio lead him down to his car. Ritsuka watched the two boys shrink in the rearview mirror before finally staring out the window. He must have fallen asleep at some point because next thing he knew Kio was waking him up to get him into a wheel chair. The rest of night went by in a blur. With doctors, nurses, police, more nurses, more police.

By the time everything had settled down it was dawn. He must have recounted what happened at least ten times. He sat staring out the window. He had already been examined by the doctor and there was severe tearing, but no permanent damage. Now he was just waiting to talk to the psychologist about the cuts on his arms, and then if they decided he wasn't going to kill himself or someone else, he was free to leave. Ritsuka was getting antsy. He could feel Soubi getting closer with every second.

The door opened and he glanced over, not exactly surprised to see Soubi standing in the doorway.

"Go away." Was all Ritsuka said to him.

"No." Came Soubi's stern response.

"You're my fighter unit, you obey me. Go. Away." Ritsuka was now wound tight as piano wire, ready to snap at any second. But Soubi beat him there.

"AND YOU'RE MY SACRIFICE! I NEED TO PROTECT YOU! I want to protect you…" A nurse rushed in at Soubi's yell and gave him a stern look.

"If I hear something like that again, I will ask you to leave. He's been through quite an ordeal." She harrumphed away, leaving an angry shaking Soubi standing there, glaring at Ritsuka.

"How did you get in here?" Ritsuka snapped.

"The hospital contacted me. Told me you were here." Kio filled out all of his paperwork and probably wasn't thinking when he wrote down Soubi as his emergency contact.

"So what do you want me to say? I'm sorry? I won't do anything like this again? What? What do you want?" Ritsuka's voice rose in agitation slightly, but his voice was already husky and scratchy from his earlier events. Soubi was silent for what seemed like an eternity before finally answering so quiet it was almost inaudible.

"I want you to say you'll come home. Please Ritsuka, just come home." Barely, just barely, Ritsuka could hear a tremor in Soubi's voice, and Ritsuka's mouth fell open. Never once had he seen Soubi cry, but here he was silent tears running down his face, a look of desperation in his eyes. He walked tentatively to Ritsuka's bedside and fell to his knees.

"I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I need you Ritsuka. You're more than just my sacrifice. I need to hear you're cold sarcasm, you're blunt logic, need to see you sleeping, studying, doing anything. I don't just want you around because Semei told me to love you. I love you because I've fallen in love with you."

Ritsuka was dumbstruck. Soubi never spoke like this. It wasn't Soubi.

"I don't believe you." Was all Ritsuka said.

"WHY ELSE WOULD I HAVE CHASED YOU DOWN LIKE A MANIAC, GOING INSANE AT THE THOUGHT OF WHERE YOU MIGHT BE? WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO YOU? MADE LOVE TO YOU? YOU THINK YOU'RE BROTHER TOLD ME TO DO ALL THAT?" Tears were now flowing freely down Soubi's face, his fists clenched tightly into fists. The same nurse came rushing in.

"Sir, I'm afraid I must ask you to leave." She spoke in a voice that didn't warrant an argument. Soubi stood harshly, staring at Ritsuka, pain in his eyes.

"Please come home." Was the last thing he said before storming out. Ritsuka watched him retreat, heart filled with anguish and regret. Why had he said those things? Why didn't he believe Soubi's words? Why was he letting him walk away?

Okay, I know it's kind of a short chapter and it took me forever and a day to put it up, but I had a writer's block to end all writer's blocks. And work was keeping from it. I work all night, and sleep all day, so I don't have much time to myself. Anyway, reviews! I'm always down for reviews and questions. And thanks to everyone who's favorited and reviewed either me or the story. I do read all of them. Chapter eight coming soon!


	8. Chapter 8

klAuthor: YAY! Chapter eight up within a reasonable amount of time!

Adam: Didn't you go, like, months between six and seven last time? It's not fun to tease your readers. Eventually they will revolt on you and hang you from a pike.

Author: Such is the fate of an author.

Adam: I'm glad I have some part in your writing.

Author: Well, It's not as much fun if I'm talking to myself. Anyways, here's Chapter eight. ENJOY AND REVIEW!

Chapter Eight

"I'm Dr. Ozumi. It's nice to meet you Ritsuka-chan. Do you know why I'm here today?" Ritsuka looked over to see a young female, with shoulder length chestnut hair. She had a warm friendly smile. He fought the urge to scoff. Not just for her age, or her obvious lack of experience, but for asking the most ridiculous question to ask in this situation.

"Yeah." He stated shortly, continuing to stare out the window.

"And why am I here, Ritsuka?" She pressed. Ritsuka knew this game. Keep asking questions to keep them talking.

"Unless you honestly need a roadmap, why don't you just get to the point?" He snapped at Dr. Ozumi, making her shrink back a big, her smile falling slightly.

"How often do you self-harm?"

"As often as I need to."

"And how often is that?"

"None of your business."

Dr. Ozumi set her pen and notepad down, and looked intently at Ritsuka.

"Let me be straight with you Ritsuka-chan, I'm not a therapist, I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm just the person that determines whether or not you will be a danger to yourself or others if we let you leave today. And I'm very good at what I do.

"So I'll make you a deal. For every question I ask and you answer appropriately, you get to ask me a question. Sound Fair?" They had a stare down before Ritsuka finally responded.

"And you have to answer appropriately too." Ozumi picked her pen and notepad back up with a smile.

"Of course."

"Okay."

"how often do you need to self-harm?"

"It varies. Sometimes multiple times a week, sometimes not for months. What's your first name?"

"Mika. Ozumi Mika. Have you ever attempted Suicide?"

"No. Have you?"

"Yes. Other than cutting, do you self harm in other ways, such as scratching, hair pulling, burning, head or wrist banging, breaking bones, or oxygen deprivation.?"

Ritsuka gaped. She didn't look suicidal. It took a minute for him to realize she had asked him a question.

"Uh, no, just cutting. I burned myself once, but I didn't like it. How?"

"I set myself on fire. What was it you didn't like?" The non-chalance and ease with which she says it is unfathomable.

"You can't accurately control the sizze and pain level of the wound the way you can with a blade. Why?"

"Because it helps us determine you risk level. On a scale of one to ten, one being once you leave here you'll seek help, ten being as soon as I leave you'll try to hurt yourself, where's your risk level?"

"Two point five. I mean, why did you try to kill yourself?"

"Oh, I was sexually abused by my father. When I told my mothers, she said it was my fault, that I had seduced him. Basically, I was trying to burn away the bait attached to my body. Why do you self harm?" Now, looking closely, he could see the marred flesh on the left side of her face, touching the corner of her mouth. The half missing eyebrow, the slight discoloration of the back of her hands. How could he have missed such obvious marks?

He stayed silent for a few moments. Looking at Mika, really looking at her, trying to see the type of person she is.

"Because I can't stand people. How did you survive."

"A neighborhood boy came by just as I lit the matches in the garage. He grabbed an old blanket from a shelf and smothered the flames. By burns were so bad, I was unconscious for the ambulance ride. I was in the ICU for almost two months, healing. I almost died. But fate had different plans for me. What do you mean you can't stand people?"

"I can't stand the pitying looks I get. My mother and my older brother are both dead, I haven't seen my father in years. I only have one person, and the only reason he's in my life at all is because my big brother told him to. He's a misanthrope. Like me. Did your mom come and visit you in the hospital?" Now, Ritsuka was honestly curious, instead of just asking questions to fill the space.

"No. I called her once, though. She told me I had made my bed, now I had to sleep in it. Have you ever been involved in other self-destructive behaviors like drinking, gambling, promiscuous sex, smoking, fighting outside of self-defense?" Suddenly, Ritsuka felt a rock in his stomach. So much ugliness in her world, and not even her own mother wanted to help her. How selfish was he? Soubi had looked for him. Came here. Wants him to come home, and he sent him away.

"No, none of that." Was all he said. Mika looked up, pausing in her notes to give him a quizzical look.

"What, no more questions?" Ritsuka stared down at his hands, clenching into fists, gripping the sheets on his legs.

"Just one. If your mom had come, without calling her, and she wanted you to come back home, would you have wanted to? If you couldn't be sure she really wanted you back home, or more so, you weren't sure you wanted to go back home, would you at least try? Would you risk that last bit of yourself that you have left for a chance to reconcile?" His throat began to tighten up. Blonde hair, and light purple blue eyes filled his head, the smell of cigarettes and turpentine filled his nose, and tears began to fill his vision but he blinked them away.

Mika closed her eyes and sighed. She smiled slightly and closed her notepad.

"I honestly can't say whether or not I would've. I was never given a chance to decide after all. If I had been, I'm not gonna lie. I would've had serious reservations. But whether or not I would've, that doesn't mean my position or any possible outcomes, are, or could've been the same as yours. Live our own lives, for we will assuredly die our own deaths. Only we know what is best for us. But I think you should call him. He obviously means a lot to you." She stood up and straightened her skirt.

"Huh? That's it? Just like that?" Ritsuka was confused.

"That's it. It's obvious that you're not an immediate risk to yourself or others. But if I may make a suggestion, I think you should look into getting some help for that misanthropy. If you try to keep everyone out because you're afraid of their pity, you miss out on making important human relations. You forget that you're human. It was very nice talking to you Ritsuka-chan. I hope everything works out." She placed a card on his bedside table and left the room, leaving Ritsuka to his thoughts.

The nurse came in to check on him a couple times, but he was mostly left alone. He'd never felt so alone. He couldn't feel Soubi's presence. He never thought about how much he'd miss just having him near. Seeing his hair falling across his eyes, watching him brush it away in annoyance as he works on another painting. Seeing his soft smile when he makes some off hand comment that inevitably causes Ritsuka's cheeks to turn red. Soubi encouraging him when he gets stuck in his schoolwork, sometimes helping him study when he can't seem to focus.

The tears were flowing silently and freely now. Kio slipped in, but remained quiet, letting Ritsuka have his moment. Once the tears dried, he wiped them away and looked to Kio.

"So, what's going on?" Ritsuka asked quietly. Kio smiled, placed his bag of belongings on the floor and sat on the edge of Ritsuka's bed, placing a gently hand over Ritsuka. He realized Kio and Soubi had a somewhat similar texture to their hands. Soft from all the chemicals, yet calloused fingertips. Artist hands.

"Good news, the doctor says you're free to go home. Said if you wanted he'd sign a release form to keep you out of school for a couple weeks, even a full month if you wanted. How does that sound?" Ritsuka was glad he finally got to leave this little piece of insanity, but he still didn't know what he was going to do about Soubi. School was the least of his concerns right now. The things he had said.

How do you apologize for that? How do you make amends? What do you say? So many questions. But no way to ask. But he didn't need to. Kio is very perceptive.

"You say what you should've. It's perfectly understandable the way you reacted. He'll understand. I know I give him a hard time about being a pervert, what with the severe age difference and all, but it's more than that. He really loves you. I see the way he watches you. I see the way he looks after you. I saw the look on his face when he got here. You'd think he'd just watched someone kill his kitten.

"He loves you Rit-chan. Don't ever think for a second that he's only here because your brother told him to. Yeah, that's how he got here, but that's not why he stays. He stays because he wants to. He's not as soulless as he tries to be. The only apology he needs is for you to come home. You make amends by allowing him to stay in your life."

Ritsuka chewed on that for a few minutes, taking comfort in the simple gesture of Kio's hand over his.

"I'm gonna go get dressed." He slipped out from under the covers, picked up the bag and slipped into the bathroom to get dressed. He gazed at the cuts covering his arm, feeling suddenly ashamed at the marks, instead of revel. He dressed slowly and exited the bathroom.

After going through the checkout process, they got in the car and left.

"So, where to?" Kio asked hopefully.

"I actually have an odd request." Kio nodded and Ritsuka gave him the address and they set off. Kio dropped him off with a final farewell and good luck and drove off. He stood on the curb for a couple minutes, doing deep breathing before finally turning and ascending the long trek up the stairs. He stood in front of the door to the apartment, just wanting to turn around and go home, but he knew he had to do this. He twisted the handle and sure enough it was unlocked. He stepped inside, breathing deep of the familiar smell.

He wandered the old familiar living room of his childhood. He could still see his mother at the kitchen sink. Could still smell her musky perfume. All the furniture had been removed except for the kitchen table and a couple chairs. The furniture in the living room had been removed and replaced with a simple futon and a comfy lounge chair.

Taking a seat in it, he breathed deeply, grasping for strength. He sat there for god knows how long, before finally walking his own green mile down the familiar hallway.

He walked past all the other doors, and came to the one at the end of the hall. The light was on, so he knew he was here. Ritsuka took another deep breath before pushing the door open. He looked longingly at the figure kneeling on the floor. He stepped in and the figure stiffened, turning suddenly. Ritsuka looked into those bottomless blue-violet eyes, knowing he was home.

"Ritsuka…" Soubi said quietly.

Author: Okay, I know, I suck. Cliffhangers suck, but I gotta keep you coming back for more, don't I? I would be adding my lovely Adam's running commentary, but It's six AM, I've been up for about twenty hours, and he's asleep. I wanted to get this put up in a reasonable amount of time. A little longer than the last one, but I hope you enjoyed. I'm gonna try to drag this out for at least two more chapters. But there WILL be a part two of this story. As usual, I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS! And to restate, If you want to know my REAL name just ask. If I get enough, I'll tell you. ALSO! Follow my you tube channel, wolfkitten5. Much love and thanks for the reviews and I hope to get more. Chapter nine, up next week for SURES!


	9. Chapter 9

Author: Okay, so I took a review tally (yes, I save all my reviews for when I need motivation) And I would like to give a special mention to _**FUGU-CHAN **_and _**PROMOCAT**_ for all their reviews, interest, and (thus far) undying support. I LOVE BOTH OF YOU! I also recently got a message asking if I do requests. Yes, I always accept requests, and when they're a request they get done and put up every week. Also, still waiting for more requests for a real name. It takes more than FOUR requests, people. Hahaha! Anyway, sorry about the delay, Adam is back in school and constantly on the computer, but here's chapter nine.

Chapter Nine:

Soubi rushed to Ritsuka, hesitating in front of him for a few moments before wrapping him in an embrace. Ritsuka lifted his arms and wrapped them around Soubi's strong frame, breathing deep of the smell of fresh oil pastels and cigarettes that clings heavily to Soubi's clothes.

"Ritsuka, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, come home. Just come home." Soubi muttered into Ritsuka's shoulder. Ritsuka closed his eyes and just took strength from Soubi's presence.

"Soubi…I'm the one that should be sorry. I was so angry, and upset. I'm just…sorry." Ritsuka felt himself tearing up again and blinked them away. Soubi pulled back suddenly, a look of shock and disbelief on his face.

"What…did you just…say?" He stuttered out, disbelief not only evident in his voice, but also in his face. Ritsuka fought back a grimace.

"I said…I'm sorry…For everything." Ritsuka said, swallowing a good chunk of his pride in the process. He felt tears sting his eyes, and for the umpteenth time today wiped them away quickly. He looked at Soubi and saw tears glistening in his eyes. The tears began to fall just as Soubi started chuckling. Softly at first but then it grew, slowly, until it was full on laughter.

"What? What's so funny? Soubi! Don't laugh at me!" Ritsuka pouted. Soubi fought to control his laughter.

"I'm sorry, it's just…How did those words taste coming out?" Soubi grinned, but it was also a smile full of warmth, love. Not a love of duty, but true and honest love. Ritsuka wrapped his arms around Soubi's shoulders, nuzzling the top of his head.

"Like vinegar." He grumbled begrudgingly, but he couldn't suppress the smile slowly creeping across his face.

"Ritsuka…" Soubi said in a muffled voice. Ritsuka's stomach clenched involuntarily. The sound of his voice. It echoed uncomfortably in his ears. Soubi wrapped his arms around Ritsuka, hugging him tightly to his chest. Ritsuka never wanted this feeling to end.

" Soubi, we need to talk…" His heart dropped into his stomach when the older man tensed.

"We'll talk in the morning. I'll still be here in the morning. You need to rest." He argued. Ritsuka shook his head as vigorously as he could counting the fact that his face was buried tightly into Soubi's chest.

"No, we need to talk now otherwise I might not be able to later." Soubi paused for a moment before leading Ritsuka to the bed. He sat facing the older man trying to align the thoughts racing through his head into a manageable order.

"I need it Soubi. The cutting, it keeps me sane. I don't understand it, and I know I can't explain it. But you know I can't stand people. I'm horrible with public relations. But what hurts more than trying to deal with people is trying to deal with you. The way you treat me, it's like I'm this fragile antique teacup, and if you jostle me just the littlest bit I'll shatter into a thousand pieces. I'm broken, there's no denying that.

"But that's the thing, when something's broken you just need to rebuild it. Stronger, better. It's gonna be hard, and I'm not sure I'm at a spot where I want to stop doing it yet. But I need you to understand that it's not a cry for help, and I'm not doing it to hurt you." Ritsuka felt suddenly like a valve had opened up in his chest and he couldn't breathe. Soubi furrowed his brow, obviously chewing this over.

It seemed like an eternity before Soubi spoke.

"So what do you want from me?" Soubi looked like he was sucking on something sour.

"I…I don't know. Stop acting like I'm about to snap. Trust me to take care of myself…Last night not withstanding." Ritsuka amended. Soubi nodded once.

"It does hurt though. It hurts me when I see you in that kind of a state. I saw those, and I felt like my heart shattered. I don't know what to say Ritsuka. I just…All I know is that I need you. Here, with me. I don't want to lose you. And I am afraid of losing you to this." A heavy silence fell between them.

Soubi's phone jingled just then, and he waited until the third ring to answer. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. He furrowed his brow in confusion. He stood, taking Ritsuka by surprise.

"Hello?" There was a pause as he listened to the person on the other end of the line. Turning his back to the younger man, his voice suddenly became low and aggressive.

"What? Why? That's not necessary. You left him with me, you can't just-" Soubi tensed. Ritsuka strained to hear the voice on the other end of the line, but his attempts were in vain, they were too hushed. But Ritsuka could hear the harsh tension in his lover's voice.

"Yes. We'll be here." Soubi clicked the phone shut, agitation radiating off him in waves. Soubi walked over to the nightstand and picked up his pack and a lighter, pinching the cigarette tight between his lips, letting the tongue of flame lap lightly at the tip until it took, then took a long deep drag off of it.

"Soubi, who was that?" Ritsuka stared at Soubi. His face was tight, his lips a paper thin line. Stubbing the cigarette out into the ashtray, he shoved a hand through his hair, frustrated. The younger man was beginning to get agitated.

"Soubi, tell me who that was?" Just then, they heard the front door open and shut, and heavy steps coming down the hall. A stone fell into the bottom of Ritsuka's stomach as the footsteps ended right outside the hall. The door swung open and Ritsuka let out a quiet yelp. He looked sharply to Soubi who was leaning his back into a corner, feet crossed at the ankles, hands shoved into his pockets, an impassive look on his face.

"Hello little brother. It's time to go home." There, in impossible perfection, stood Seimei.

"But, what's going on?" Ritsuka felt himself shaking from the core.

"I can't take care of you Ritsuka. Go with your brother." Soubi said low, no emotion in his voice to be heard.

"No, what about you? Aren't you coming with us?" Ritsuka didn't know what to say.

"I can't." Was all he said.

"I won't allow it Rit-chan. He let you get hurt and that is unforgivable." Seimei said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"No, it's not Soubi's fault. I want to stay with him. Please, Seimei, let me stay with him. Soubi! I want to stay with you!" Ritsuka pled with both of them.

"Go with your brother."

"Don't you want me to stay? I know you do Soubi! I saw the way you -"

` "GO WITH SEIMEI RITSUKA!" Soubi yelled harshly. Ritsuka shrank back into his brother. Without a word, Seimei draped his arm over Ritsuka's shoulder and led him out of the house.

As Soubi heard the front door close, he sank to his knees. Burying his face in his hands, he sobbed.

"Ritsuka…I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do. Ritsuka, my little Ritsuka. My little mouse. Please, forgive me." He leaned against the wall, tears streaming down his face, and stared into nothing. He didn't know how long he sat there, but it was well past sundown before he moved. Possibly before he even blinked. The last thing he saw before falling into sweet oblivion was Ritsuka's face as Seimei led the love of his life away.

END CHAPTER

Author: Awww, such a sad ending, I almost cried while writing it. Listening to Listen to Your Heart during the last scene certainly didn't help. Far too perfect a song to be coincidental.

Adam: Amazing how much drama action there is in Yaoi.

Author: Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Gotta love gay boys. And the fan girls that write about them. Anyways, SOOOOO sorry for the long overdue update, I'll try not to do it again. Anyway, CHAPTER TEN UP SOON! I'm already half-way through it!


	10. Author Note

Dear Readers! CHAPTER (9.5)

Author Commentary: HEEEYYYYyyyy….yeah…K here! Been almost 14 months since my last update. Been making some serious life changes. Adam is no mas! Sorry to anyone that really liked his bits, but he decided I was not good enough for his special bits, so I had to move back in with my mommy and get a REAL job. Balls. But anyway, finally recovered all of my files and data for mah STORIES and ready to get the ball rolling. Ready to find out what Seimei has in store for Ritsuka? Because I sure am. Anyone have any suggestions, please, send them in. Until then, chapter 10 will HOPEFULLY be up no later than Friday of next week. Thank you to all my readers, both old (*cough* Fugu-chan and Promo cat *cough* 3 ) and new. It's been tough readjusting to living at home, but I think I finally have my groove back! AAANNDD! I have a new Beau. His name is Blake and he is almost nerdier than ME! And I absolutely adore him. So, he'll be making a couple of Cameos, most definitely. Anyway, thank you again for all of your patience and support, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for both, me, and my stories. Until then, love and rockets. XD

Insincerely, The Infamous K


	11. Chapter 10

Author: Okay, so Promocat and Fugu-Chan totally had me in tears. It's obviously been a difficult few months for me, and you're e-mails were totally appreciated and I wanted you guys to know how much you mean to me! You are the coolest readers ever! Anyway, here's chapter ten. Updated a week before even I thought it was gonna be updated. I never realized how exhausting productivity is. HERGBLEGH!

Chapter 10

The day seemed to go by in a haze. Ritsuka didn't really know what to do. It felt like the earth was shattering beneath his feet, and he was being pulled away ever farther from the only thing keeping him in one piece. He might've fought. He thought he remembered trying to break away from Seimei. He might've cried. His head was pounding. He might've died. That's what his heart felt like. There was no pulse. No warmth, no breath. Everything that made him what he was had slipped through his fingers. No, it hadn't slipped away. It left. He was sitting in the house that was no longer his, letting him be taken away.

'How could he do this to me?' Ritsuka thought to himself.

'He let Seimei take me that easily? I thought we…I thought he lov-…' Ritsuka couldn't finish the thought. It was too painful. Truly, heart shattering, terrifyingly painful. And what scared Ritsuka the most was how much it hurt. How Soubi had become so large a part of his life, that it felt like there was nothing left…Nothing. An aching, empty chasm had opened up, not just in his heart, but in his mind. And he finally let the oblivion of his mind take him.

"-suka. Ritsuka, wake up. Come on little brother, we're home." Ritsuka woke with a start. Cold, he was so cold. But Seimei's hand on his cheek felt like ice. He pulled away and stared at Seimei for a moment. When did he fall asleep? Seimei reached for him again and he shrank back. Not wanting those ice cold hands on him.

"I can get out on my own." He said with a cold look. Seimei stepped aside so he could pull himself out of the car. He looked at the vast house before him. It was expansive and there were no other houses around. It was eerily silent and Ritsuka felt suddenly, very much alone. As they headed up to the house, he noticed a young man sitting on the porch. He had shoulder length emerald green hair. It was just after sunset so the porch light was on.

The young man looked up from the handheld game he was playing and glared at Ritsuka.

"Is this the kid? Your brother?" He had a light voice, quiet. Ritsuka decided that he wasn't one to talk much and that suited Ritsuka just fine. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now. Especially anyone in this house.

"Shota, shut up." Ritsuka flinched. He had never heard his brother be so harsh or use such a tone on anyone. He stared for a moment at Seimei, wondering if this was even real. How could someone that was so kind to him in his childhood sound like someone so cold hearted?

He expected the boy to say something back, but instead he kept his mouth shut, stood up and moved to the side so they could pass. He continued to glare at Ritsuka. And Ritsuka glared right back until the boys eyes dropped.

The foyer was impressive with hand carved wood banisters leading upstairs and American Victorian moldings on the ceilings. A vast difference between the very classical Japanese onsen look on the outside of the house. Behind the door on Ritsuka's immediate left, there was a sizable commotion. Probably a TV. Seimei led Ritsuka up the stairs and to the left. There were no decorations, nothing remarkable about the house other than it was remarkably sterile.

They walked past doors and doors, the hallway seemed to go on forever. Ritsuka felt an unusual sense of déjà vu. He stopped in front of a solid white door and Seimei pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door.

" This is my room. Free reign to you. For anything." Ritsuka took a look around the room and was amazed at how sparse it was. There was a simple queen sized bed made up in the corner, a computer desk with a laptop, and a bookshelf next to a comfortable looking ottoman. He led him through another room into the bathroom. Also extremely devoid of personal possessions. At the opposite side of the bathroom was another door which Seimei produced another key to unlock the door.

"And this is your room. I know it's kind of bland, but I figured I could take you shopping tomorrow to make it feel a little more like home." Home. The word made Ritsuka hurt. This wasn't his home, this didn't even seem like Seimei's home.

There's some clothes in the closet for you, and some pajamas and other odds and ends in the closet.

Ritsuka stared blankly at the room, fighting back tears. This isn't where he ever wanted to be. He wanted Soubi.

"Soubi…" he said meekly. He didn't realize he said it out loud until Seimei grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him dead in the eye.

"Don't say his name. Don't think about him. He isn't here. I won't let him near you again. I will NOT let him take you." Ritsuka tried to pull away from him but he only gripped tighter.

"Do you understand me? Do you know why I did this? I did this for you. To protect you. To keep you safe. I'm the only one who can keep you safe. Safe from mother, safe from Soubi, and safe from yourself. I know about the cutting. Don't think you can hide it from me." His eyes! There was something…not quite right…unhinged almost. It terrified him. They looked so much like mother's.

Finally Seimei released his grip and gave him a gentle hug.

"Well, I'll let you get some rest. It's been quite a day. And tomorrow, we'll go shopping for stuff for you, okay?" Seimei smiled and left the room. Ritsuka waited until Seimei closed the opposite door to the bathroom, but as he reached the door, he heard the lock click and fall into place. He tried the door handle and sure enough, it was locked tight.

He went back into the room and tried the window. It would open but there was barrier window mesh over the outside of the screen. He felt trapped. Completely and utterly trapped. He was too tired to try and think of anything else to do other than to curl up on the bed. It was a full size bed, much larger than his twin bed at his house. And so much emptier. As he lay in bed, staring blankly at the empty wall a thought suddenly occurred to him.

'My cell phone! I can still call Soubi!' Hope filtered into Ritsuka's chest with glee! He could call Soubi, and Soubi would come get him. He ruffled through all of his pockets, but couldn't find anything. His cell phone, his wallet, nothing. He suddenly thought about waking up in the car and not remembering when he fell asleep. He realized he hadn't fallen asleep, he had been drugged. His own brother had drugged him. Seimei, the man that just made a valiant speech about keeping him safe.

It was daunting to think that the man just outside of his door, use to be his hero. His guardian angel. Now? What was he now? What had he turned into? Or had he always been like this? Ritsuka felt himself falling, falling, and falling. There was a hole forming in his chest. An aching sadness that burned through every nerve in his body. An echoing emptiness filled his mind as he drifted into a fitful sleep, still fully dressed.

As he slipped into sleep, all he could see behind his lids was the completely, and utterly defeated look on Soubi's face as Ritsuka was ripped away from the only person that had never lied to or hurt him. The only person he ever truly loved…and that face followed him into sleep and haunted his dreams. Tomorrow, tomorrow he will figure out a way to find his way back to Soubi. He will find a way to get home.

Because this is not, nor will it ever be, a home. Behind locked doors, and barred windows, this is not a home. This is a prison. A cage. And if there was one thing Soubi ever taught him, it was that you are only ever as caged as you allow someone to keep you. And he had no intention of being caged here any longer.

Author: END CHAPTER! Holy hell ass batman! It feels so good to get back to the story and into the writing process! I know what you're thinking, how the hell is he going to get out of here and back to Soubi! Well, calm yo' tits peeps! Because I'm still trying to figure that out. Lol! Anyway, please leave a message after the beep.

Blake: Beep!

Author: To mark this message as urgent please press '11'.

Blake: There is no '11', you FUCKING WHORE!

Author: Aahhh, RVB references. So much fun. Anyway! LOVE AND ROCKETS! 3


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